The Family Constellation is based on the respect of the basic cosmic laws. Disrespect of these laws has difficult consequences; by energetic work in the field of Family order we can contribute to reestablishment of the natural order.
Two basic dynamics take care of the family system: the family conscience and the balance between giving and receiving.
There is a conscience we feel and that conscience maintains the order in the family system; it primarily represents attachment to the group. On the level of the unconscious, the conscience connects different systems that include the members of the group, the rules of the group and the needs of the group.
The laws are as follows:
1. The need/right to respect/admit that which is. That which is must be allowed to be.
2. The need/right to belong (excluded, forgotten, bad, wrong, …)
3. The need/right to maintain the balance of giving and receiving.
4. The need/right for order. Those that are first (older) come first in relation to those that came later in the family.
The principles of the Order are present and useful in everyday life because they change point of view and reactions to the life circumstances.
Respecting/Admitting That Which Is
That which is must be allowed to be.
The reality never makes mistakes, even when it seems threatening. Everything that happened is recorded in the energy field of our family. When we admit that which is and look into it, we come to the solution of the problem. But, often, we do not want to look in that direction because we are afraid, ashamed, we don’t want to see, it is not ours, we wonder what we have to do with it, etc. We turn back on it, thinking it will go away if we don’t look at it. Actually, this way we disable ourselves to resolve the problem, spending energy on repressing and denying. The healing comes only through acceptance of the truth that is brought to the surface. When we give the space to that which is, then nobody of descendents have to stand on that place (which was denied in the past). If this is not done, no matter how much we deny to see somebody or something, there will always be one of the descendents who will with his behavior, illness, loss, etc….be forced to search for the cause of his distress.
For example, when someone is excluded from the family system, and he/she has the right to belong to it, system looks for compensations and excluded member is presented by the younger member who doesn’t know what is happening to him or whose life he is living.
The solution to this is, with the help of the energy work in the field of Family constellation, to look towards the excluded member, and then, the descendent from that, or some further generation will not have to energetically represent that person, but will be able to live his own life (not someone’s’ else).