“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”
Shame is, perhaps, the most painful emotion there is. Basically, it is a state of being (it can overwhelm, with its intensity, the whole identity) characterized by a profound feeling that we are irreversibly flawed. Shame creates the belief that, whatever we are or do, is in its core wrong, therefore the best thing we can do is to disappear and be invisible. Due to the veil of secrecy, that fuels the inner critic and perfectionist, shame is emotion that is extremely difficult to detect.
Since it is designed to protect us, to hide us from the observing eyes, shame stays unknown, and yet so intensely present. It is not found on any map; it stays hidden, primarily from ourselves, then from the others (it is too intensly painful to keep it in the consciousness).
Due to its hiding nature, shame is almost always bound to another emotion like anger, fear or sadness.
We live in times when changes are big and unusual, very unexpected and deep. Every change brings end of something. During last year that change brought different ends for each one of us: loss of a loved one, loss of job and creativity, roof over a head, loss of freedom, civil rights, healthy boundaries, freedom of movement, being with friends, travelings…no matter how important and big, or small and “insignificant”, losses pile in our psyche and create a weight in our heart. New losses lined after the old ones, those that happened long time ago, even at the beginning of our lives. They were followed by many silent departures over the lifetime, when we lost somebody or something before we could have it…longer we live, more losses we will have to encounter.
Like shame, grief is complex and heavy emotion which has its own way of moving and expressing through the body and psyche. This two primary emotions more than often stay buried somewhere deep down, while we are not even aware of it. Believe it or not, shame and grief are two old and close friends traveling together on various parts of the roads of everyone’s life.
Shame and grief sabotage life of evey human, on small or big ways: one or the other (or both!) are in the root of depression, addiction, eating disorders, anxiety, blocked sexuality.
Well hidden, secretive and very convincing, shame makes us want to disappear. This time, together, we will stay present with it, visible, and supported by our group. On this workshop we will:
- become aware of the form and shape our individual shame has taken, while residing in our bodies and psyche
- recognize dynamic and anatomy of our personal shame
- with the support of the group, maintain optimal distance from shame (which habitually devours us) and begin to separate it from our identity
- get the protector (adult) that the child did not have in the time when shaming experiences took place
- shift the toxic shame towards the healthy shame
- explore our relationship with death, ends and how we behave in that relationship
- have the opportunity to come in contact with deep sadness that suffocates life in us
- allow unexpressed grief and loss to move through our bodies.
- allow our core, essence, to become the moving force of our lives
- truly step up to new platform of consciousness and higher frequencies of truth, love and light.
- all these themes will be explored through numerous somatic experientials, all designed to support life.
Needed for workshop: computer (tablet) and internet connection, functional audio and video systems on your device, paper for drawing and taking notes, water, pilow, tissues and anything that gives you support and safety.
Workshop leader: Katarina Subotich
Date: March 21-23, 2021.
This workshop is conducted in Serbian.