“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”
Shame is, perhaps, the most painful emotion there is. Basically, it is a state of being (it can overwhelm, with its intensity, the whole identity) characterized by a profound feeling that we are irreversibly flawed. Shame creates the belief that, whatever we are or do, is in its core wrong, therefore the best thing we can do is to disappear and be invisible. Due to the veil of secrecy, that fuels the inner critic and perfectionist, shame is emotion that is extremely difficult to detect.
Since it is designed to protect us, to hide us from the observing eyes, shame stays unknown, and yet so intensely present. It is not found on any map; it stays hidden, primarily from ourselves, then from the others (it is too intensly painful to keep it in the consciousness).
Due to its hiding nature, shame is almost always bound to another emotion like anger, fear or sadness.
During the childhood, shame begins to develop along the wound. In each type of wounding (abandonment, rejection, perfectionism, betrayal, unwantedness), shame is present in significant amount. Child has a great need to be accepted and loved, especially by its parents. If things did not go well during the developmental period, shame can get attached to identity, need, drive/impulse, connectedness and relationship, as well as the self that is trying to differentiate.
Shame sabotages the life of evey human, on small or big ways: it is in the root of depression, addiction, eating disorders, anxiety, blocked sexuality.
Well hidden, secretive and very convincing, shame makes us want to disappear. This time, together, we will stay present with it, visible, and supported by out group. On this workshop we will:
- become aware of the form and shape our individual shame has taken, while residing in our bodies and psyche
- recognize dynamic and anatomy of our personal shame
- with the support of the group, maintain optimal distance from shame (which habitually devours us) and begin to separate it from our identity
- get the protector (adult) that the child did not have in the time when shaming experiences took place
- shift the toxic shame towards the healthy shame
- all these themes will be explored through numerous somatic experientials, all designed to support life, and liberate from shame which is anti-life force.
Workshop leader: Katarina Subotich
Date: May 16-17, 2020.
Location: To be announced. Belgrade, Serbia.
In order to register, nonrefundable deposit of €40 is necessary.
Participants from abroad are welcome, as translation to English can be provided for additional cost.