Sun rises and sets every day. The tide of the ocean changes. The seasons change: one comes, the other one goes. And so does our own life: it changes, it moves from here to there; some people come and some go from our lives, for better or worse. Our mind changes, our belief systems change (which is not that bad at all:), our likings and dislikings. Sometimes we wonder does it all make sense. We wonder if we should of done that, or this or maybe if we just didn’t meet “that” person things would be better and happier, if, if, if…..
Obviously, it is not easy to accept life the way it is. We try to avoid mistakes, to do our best, to be good parents, lovers, spouses, sons and daughters. But here is what the four lays of spirituality of India have to say about life. Those are principles that can make life a bit less tense and bring us from push and pull mode to center and acceptance.
The First Law
The person who comes is the right person.
Who didn’t wonder, at least once in a lifetime: “Why did I get in that relationship?” What am I doing with this person, what does she/he want from me, how could I be so stupid to do it again? Well, nobody comes to our life by chance. We all meet each other for a purpose. The purpose to experience, learn, contact, become alive. And, like straws floating on the river, we come together, flow together for a while and than depart separated by the waves of life. It is the nature of this world to be under the spell of illusion and impermanence. So instead of judging yourself next time, or blaming other people for “what they have done to you” pause for a moment and remember this truth: the person who comes is the right person. It could not have been, in that moment, anybody else. It had to be that one, so rather ask the question: What am I suppose to learn and experience form this encounter?
The Second Law
What happens is the only thing that could have happened.
We can really torture ourselves about “if I just did that, if I understood, if I could just have seen what was happening” etc. etc.
Nothing really, that happened to us, could have been otherwise. Even the smallest detail is the way it should be, so we can learn a lesson and move on. Life is good. Life Is perfect, just the way it is. And it is the way it is for some purpose, again. This truth is known to people that went thorough some serious health challenges and have survived them. I do not wish for another tumor anywhere in my body, nor I recommended it for awakening process, but after my brain surgery I was never the same person again. I would not have it again, but I would not change it even if I could reverse the past, as it changed my life completely and put me on a path that makes life worth of living.
The Third Law
Whenever it starts is the right time.
Nothing happens before or after than it should happen. And when is that “should happen”? It is when we are ready. When we are ready for something to happen, it happens. Punto. All that impatience, should and should not be now or later, creates lots of inner turmoil, pressure and probably down the road, low inflammatory processes in the body. We get possessed about what others will say if “we don’t do it when everybody is doing it”, be it having kids, going to collage, getting married or making a fortune.
Sometimes we know some things need to change, but we do not see how, where, when. The understanding and compassion towards the self is of great importance. We know it ought to be different, but we have no strength or guts to move forward. Guess what? Most of the time it is harder to be with unknown or even known, and your own inability to do it, than to move forward. We need to “survive” everything that comes before the move, and that is all our insecurities, powerlessness, the sense of worthlessness, the feeling that we don’t deserve better, we don’t know how, inadequacy, etc. The list is long. Do not worry. Things will happen when you are ready and it might be easier than you have ever imagined. Wait for your moment. And it will come. There is no status quo in the Universe, and you are no exception.
The Fourth Law
When something ends, it ends.
Many of us struggle with this one. Letting go, losing something or someone and moving on is a heck of a journey. And sooner or later we will all have to encounter some little or big ends in our lives. The day ends, and so does night, the rain ends and so does sunshine. The life ends, and so does the grief of losing a loved one. Everything has its end and the beginning, and for some reason this world is set up that way. WE all have beginning and end, you, me and she. Deep relationships end too, living in one place ends, but on the other place begins. The point here is in the timing. When it ends, it is ready to end. Not sooner, and no later. Simple as that…hard to accept though.
Some of us may wonder: well, if I accept all those things, that means I am giving up and I am not going to change anything. If I am depressed, anxious, etc. and I accept this, I will just sink more and it will be the end of me. Not really. Talking from my own experience, life is not meant to be happy all the time, neither sad or a struggle. Life is life. It is made of all those things we live and experience, of all the people we meet and lose, it is made of tears and laughters. What matters really is to go consciouslythrough it and live it fully. Acceptance just saves lot of energy and gives us peace. Once we accept, we can own it, endure with ourselves through whatever we are going through (don’t think that we just avoid pain, many avoid pleasure as well) and emerge in who and what we are meant to be.
As one of my teachers says there is a difference of what you are born into and what you are born for. Our moment started with our birth, when we got born into certain family and circumstances. Now is ours to discover what we are born for. And that will happen when we are ready, on its own way and in its own time.
Stay open, stay curious,